It is now know that the Twitter account of one Pierre Delecto is owned by none other than the coffee-abstaining Senator from Utah, Mitt Romney.
After my co-workers and I wore out the litany of jokes regarding adult entertainment actor names, baguettes as innuendo, and saying ‘hon hon hon’ suggestively, we boiled this down to one of the most absurd things we’ve heard so far this week…then realized that it is Monday.
In all due honesty, the stories going around on news sites are positing this as “brave” and “necessary”. I call shenanigans. Mitt Romney was elected by the traditionally defined landslide in the politically safe state of Utah. Having a ghost account, originally used to keep an eye on his family without those communications and likes being watched by thousands of followers, seems rational. Slowly using this ‘family’ account to start attacking the President, a fair and legal thing to do without fear of legal repercussions, seems like he found a throwaway from when he was hip and communicating with his kids on the regular and thought he could get some mileage out of it. Ironically enough, it was this history that would eventually lead a reporter to call him to confirm. Points to Senator Romney for realizing he had been found out and replying, “c’est Moi”. The fact that he failed to mention Inspector Clouseau was disappointing, but I would have been fumbling for words, so good on him.
This is where we get into the meat of the issue. This is a Senator, Presidential candidate, businessman, and overall early 21rst century fixture in the Republican party. At any point he could have walked down to the podium, asked the Chair for a few minutes and prattled off, most likely to an empty room, about how he felt. Less Delecto, more Mr. Smith, but he didn’t try that. The position and authority (some would daresay privilege) that he has as a member of the senate who won’t be up for election until 2024 gives him a unique opportunity to lay out, on the record and kept for all posterity, the moral and legal arguments he believes are valid. His challenges to the behavior and beliefs of not only his President but the party writ-large. Instead he took his shot on the fetid morass of human anger, bile, and malcontent known as Twitter. A place he knew it would be buried under the literal millions of comments and tweets that are created every day on the subject of American politics. That is unless someone, such as a bored politics reporter who had the time to sift through nearly 500 twitter connections, decides that the whole list of followers on one of his granddaughters’ accounts needed investigating.
Now we have a cheeky cowardice on display. Microphones have been lain in front of him multiple times and he has demurred. He defended himself with a ghost account while deriding others. One could say I’m doing the same right now but I can’t mosey up to the podium in the Senate building, ask for time, and put on that hallowed record, my thoughts and ideas on the state of the Union, the direction of our nation, or the concern I have for the continued degradation of communication and sense of community spreading like a blight across this country. So, I’ll post that here.
On another, cheeky note, I’ll offer up a donation to Romney’s campaign, up to the full legal limit, if he changes the profile picture of the Pierre Delecto account to one of him at Halloween wearing a fake mustache, beret, black turtleneck sweater, kerchief wrapped around his neck, and thick-framed glasses while carrying a baguette. The basket of wine and cheese would be a nice touch, but not necessary.
Old Jeffersonian 